Of Books and Berries
by Nuwanda
Summary: A search for Icha Icha Paradise turns into something far more interesting. Will Iruka's uke powers be enough to save him from Kakashi's perversity? Just what happened to Icha Icha? And as long as they make out, does anyone really care?


**A/N:** So I wrote this in about ten minutes at like, seven this morning. My good friend and darling uke Sarah cosplays as Iruka and I cosplay as Kakashi. So whenever we go out, to the movies or the mall or whatever, we roleplay as them. One day we were talking over the aim and began talking as them and the idea for this fic was formed. And at one point my friend Jess came in and read something Sarah had written and laughed so hard she fell off the bed. Thus explaining Itachi's random appearance in the fanfic. Hope you enjoy it.

**DISCLAMIER:** I don't own it, kiddies.

**DEDICATION:** Sarah and Jess. As always.

**FICLET!**

* * *

Kakashi tossed pillows off the couch, knocking a glass off the end table and not even noticing as it shattered on the floor. "Iruka?" he called over his shoulder. He tossed another pillow. "Iruka!"

"Hai?"

"Have you seen my book?"

"What book?" The voice from the front porch sounded vaguely far off, as though the other man was distracted, not really listening to what Kakashi was saying. The silver-haired man sighed, sitting back on his heels.

"You know what book I'm talking about, Iruka."

"….do I?"

Kakashi growled, shoving himself to his feet. "Iruka, stop playing games. Come on," he called, stomping out the front door.

"Kashi, I really don't know what you're talking about." Iruka came into view, a bowl of ripe berries and fresh cream in one hand. Kakashi stared. The book was forgotten. He looked up at Iruka, then back at the bowl. Usually Iruka was a lot more careful than this. The brunette knew a lot better than to present the formerANBU with any such easy ammo.

"….you were saying, Kakashi?" Iruka's voice was amused, and when Kakashi turned his attention back to his koi, he saw that Iruka was regarding him with one arched eyebrow. Oh yes. He had been saying something, hadn't he? Thoughts of Iruka and whipped cream had made him forget.

"I can't find Icha Icha paradise!"

"Wow. What a travesty," Iruka said dryly.

Kakashi glowered. "You did something with it, didn't you?"

"Yes, I am just that infantile." Iruka lifted one heavily cream-laden berry to his lips. Kakashi stared. Icha Icha Paradise seemed less and less important as he watched the other man take a leisurely bite, the tiniest bit of cream clinging to his lips….those heavenly lips……

Kakashi's tongue flicked out of his mouth, tracing quickly across his own lips, and he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks. Iruka paused suddenly, tilting his head to one side.

"Kashi? Are you alright? You look…"

But he made it no further before he found himself flat on his back with Kakashi straddling his hips, effectively pinning him to the floor. The bowl of strawberries landed beside them with a loud clatter, amazingly not upending too horribly all over the tile. Iruka stared fearfully up at Kakashi.

"Kakashi….what are you doing?"

"I think the better question is what are YOU doing?" Kakashi demanded. "When did you become such a little slut?"

Iruka couldn't help but smile. "I don't know to what you are referring."

"Oh, really?" And Kakashi leaned forwards and kissed Iruka, his tongue slipping into the other man's mouth and tasting the lingering hint of berries there. Iruka pressed up into Kakashi, searching for more contact, which the other man was only too happy to give. Pulling back, Kakashi gently licked Iruka's lower lip, making sure he had gotten all the cream that had been there.

Iruka smiled up at Kakashi. "I have to go to work."

"Oh, no you don't." Kakashi shoved Iruka into the floor with greater force. The brunette winced, then rolled his eyes.

"Kashi, I have stuff to do. SOME OF US actually work."

Kakashi bristled. "_I _work!"

"Yeah, and you're always late!"

"Can't help it if I've got bad luck."

Iruka couldn't help but smile at that. "You and your excuses." The smile faded then, and he shoved at Kakashi's shoulders. "Now let me up."

"No."

"Kashiiiii!" Iruka groaned. "We can do this LATER! I need to go to work!"

Kakashi's only response was to dip his slim fingers into the bowl of cream and getting a thick goopy handful, smearing it down Iruka's cheek and throat, eliciting a gasp of surprise. "KAKASHI!"

"Yes?"

"STOP IT!"

"No."

"I can't go to work like_ this_!"

"Then I guess you can't go, can you?"

"I _HAVE_ TO GO!"

"Oh." Kakashi smiled evilly. "Then we'll have to see what we can do to clean you up, won't we?" And leaning forwards, he pressed his mouth to Iruka's earlobe, nipping harshly. Despite his best efforts to control it, Iruka moaned, his back arching into the sensation, as Kakashi worked his way down Iruka's throat, applying tongue liberally as he licked off all the cream slowly and torturously.

Kakashi pulled back, grinning as he looked down at Iruka. The brunette's hair was a tousled mess, his face was flushed and his eyes were half-lidded in dazed pleasure. "How did you ever get so beautiful?"

That only made Iruka blush more, and he grabbed the bowl from nearby, pulling it up in an effort to hide his face. "Kashiiii…."

Kakashi laughed and gracefully rose to his feet. "You can go now, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka's eyes went wide with surprise, and he stared up at Kakashi, who only smiled and offered a hand. Iruka blinked. "Thank you, Kakashi-sensei," he said, warily eyeing the hand, but taking it nonetheless. Kakashi hauled him gently to his feet. "I really should be getting ready for work." Iruka softly pressed a kiss to Kakashi's mouth. "We'll continue this later."

Kakashi barely managed to suppress an evil grin as he nodded, letting Iruka get about three steps towards the door before he pantsed him.

Iruka froze. "…….Ka…Kakashi…..you did _not_ just…."

But Kakashi didn't answer…at least not verbally. He yanked the pants the rest of the way off Iruka, thereby knocking Iruka to his feet, and ran towards the village square. He only made it about a four steps himself before he paused, glancing back. Iruka still lay on the floor, flat on his back in shock, legs spread wide. It was enough to make one's nosebleed.

"Hmmm…" pants in one hand, Kakashi took a moment to ponder, weighing out the pros and cons of each of his two options. "Iruka flat on his back...running off with his pants…..Iruka on his back………..running off with his pants." Really, he couldn't see a downside to either one.

But at that moment, Iruka seemed to finally get his spirit back as his temper flared and he jumped to his feet, roaring "KAKASHIIIIIIIIIII!" and giving swift chase.

Kakashi's eyes went wide, an idea hitting him. "Iruka pantless on his feet chasing me! _LURE HIM TO THE BEDROOM_!" And with that, Kakashi spun about and began to run again….only he quickly noticed that Iruka was no longer running after him. Kakashi screeched to a halt, turning to stare at the other man.

Iruka was regarding Kakashi with one eyebrow raised as though amazed at Kakashi's stupidity. "You would think that an ex-ANBU would learn to retain his inner monologue in an internal manner."

Kakashi paused a moment, considering this. "True. You would think that. But then again," and here his eyes narrowed as he smiled that smile that always made Iruka so very very nervous, "I am not any other ex-ANBU. I am not any other man."

Iruka swallowed….hard. And before he had time to adjust or even go on the defensive, Kakashi had taken a running leap and pounced on him, knocking him flat to the ground.

"KASHI!" Iruka shouted.

"HAHAHAHA!" Kakashi laughed wildly, his hands tracing up underneath Iruka's shirt.

"I have WORK!"

"Oh, in your DREAMS!" He nipped at the soft skin of Iruka's throat.

"And while this is…..fairly….nnaaaaahhh…entertaining…….." Iruka was finding it more and more difficult to protest as Kakashi continued moving those skillful fingers across Iruka's bare skin, continued pressing kisses to the soft flesh of Iruka's throat.

Then, Iruka felt one hand slip beneath his shorts, the last protection he had on his lower half since Kakashi had stolen his pants, and he let out a high pitched yelp of surprise. "GAH! HANDS WANDERING!"

Kakashi laughed, the noise low and throaty. "That was a lovely little sound you just made, Iruka-sensei. Don't know if I've ever heard you scream that high-pitched before."

Iruka glared up at him. "It wasn't a scream, it was a yelp. And it wasn't 'high pitched'…..it was manly, dammit."

"If you say so."

Sighing, Iruka closed his eyes tightly. Then, an idea seemed to hit him and he pulled out all of his uke abilities, giving Kakashi a little pout and making his eyes go all half-lidded and sultry. "Kashi-koi….I have to work…..please let me up?" Leaning forward, he gently licked Kakashi's lower lip. "I'll make it up to you when I come home."

There was a pause, and then…..Kakashi grinned. "Nice try." Poof! A second Kakashi appeared, pinning Iruka. "Look! It's an Iruka sandwich!"

"…………..DAMMIT! I said no to that fantasy LAST week!"

"No," one of the Kakashi's corrected. "You said no to that fantasy with ICE CREAM last week!"

"Do you see ice cream?" the other asked. "Cause I sure don't."

Iruka snorted. "There are still elements from…..what was that number?…..Oh yes, Iruka Fantasy Number 73. Therefore, it's still held under _NO_!"

"Ohhhh, WHATEVER!" The second Kakashi vanished in another poof. "You're such a drama queen." A pause. "…..or queen in general."

A pause, long, silent, and deadly. "……..I'm a WHAT?"

Kakashi grinned. "You heard me. I went there."

Iruka let out a low, rumbling growl and actually began fighting in earnest to escape. "Ooohhhhhh, I'M GOING TO TOP YOU SO HARD!"

Itachi fell out of a nearby tree laughing hysterically. Kakashi arched an eyebrow in confusion, then decided to ignore the intrusion and turned back to the subject at hand.

"Pffft," Kakashi scoffed. "You couldn't kill me. You love me too much. Besides…..you have the word 'uke' permanently tattooed to your forehead…remember?" And pulling a marker out of nowhere, he scrawled "UKE" in big letters right on Iruka's forehead.

Iruka was by now acting like a cat being given a bath, hissing and clawing at Kakashi in his efforts to get away. "DEATH KILL KILL KILL TOP DEATH KILL!" he snarled, unable to even get out coherent sentences anymore.

Laughing, Kakashi leaned forwards and kissed him soundly. "Oh, come on," he murmured. "You didn't mind your uke status last night. Not when I had you bent over your desk. You were screaming so loudly, I thought the entire village would hear!" And tossing back his head, he imitated Iruka loudly. "Oh, _YES_ Kakashi-sensei! There! RIGHT _THERE_! MORE! GIVE ME _MORE_! HARDER! AHHHH!"

"What's all this noise?"

Kakashi turned to see Iruka walking towards him out of their shared apartment, tying his headband in place as he finished getting ready for work. The brunette stopped suddenly as he caught sight of the scene in front of him. "Kashi, are you still playing with my kage bushin?"

Kakashi stared at Iruka, then turned to the Iruka beneath him, who glared back, then back to the Iruka who was standing over him. The standing Iruka shrugged. "Okay. Well, I have to go to work now." Leaning forward, he kissed Kakashi on the forehead. "Ja, koi."

Kakashi smiled as brightly and innocently as he could. "Later." And as Iruka turned to go, he casually stuck a paper sign on Iruka's back that said '_I like to take it in the ass_.'

The kage bushin beneath him stared with wide eyes. "…I….IRU…" it began to shout, but Kakashi silenced it with one hand over it's mouth.

"Don't even _think_ about it, buster," he ordered. "Now then…." And Kakashi smiled that trademark smirk down at the flushing Iruka bushin. "…..where were we?"

-fin-


End file.
